I Had A Dad Too

This is a short introduction to this book. It incorporates an original song, and some footage from a trip that I made to my home town of Leamington Spa and the village of Cubbington, and it reflects a journey that has taken decades to put into words.

A Taster of What’s Coming

For the past few years I have been quietly writing a book. Not a how-to. Not a business book. Not a creative guide. This is something far more personal than any of those. A memoir. My memoir. And after a great deal of editing, re-editing, second-guessing, and the steady, patient encouragement of friends and family, I am thrilled to announce that I Had A Dad Too is coming soon — published by Pickwick Publications, an imprint of Wipf and Stock.

To mark the moment, I have produced another short introductory video. This short was filmed on location in and around my home town and village in Warwickshire, the place where so much of the story in the book is set. Beneath the imagery you will hear the opening bars of one of the original songs I have written (with the assistance of AI – lyrics are 100% mine, AI was used to pad out an idea, and then brought to life with AI), to accompany the book — a song called Holding Back Time, dedicated to my wife, Helen.

You can watch the video at the top of this post.

Why I Wrote This Book

The honest answer is that I needed to. Some stories will not leave you alone until you find a way to tell them. I Had A Dad Too is the story of growing up in a neurodiverse family long before the word “neurodiversity” was in common use. It is the story of a mum and dad who shaped me in ways I am only now beginning to understand. It is the story of a brother I lost. It is the story of a faith that has been hard-won, frequently doubted, and always, somehow, recovered.

It is also, I hope, the story of joy. Because in among the difficult chapters there is a great deal of laughter, music, fishing, sport, terrible jokes, awful school dinners, slightly illegal motorbike rides in side-cars, choir practice, drag nights at folk venues, and the slow, surprising discovery that love really can endure.

What the Book Is About

Across eighteen chapters, I Had A Dad Too moves through the seasons of one ordinary, extraordinary life:

  • Family and beginnings — meeting Mum and Dad before I was born; the biker; the call-up; the courtship.
  • Childhood in Cubbington — village life, choir, the parish church, school, fishing, freedom on bicycles.
  • Music and the arts — Dad’s bass trombone, the brass band, the choir, the slow apprenticeship to a life lived in and around creativity.
  • Schooling and shame — bullying, racism, sexual abuse, and the long shadow these things cast over a young life and beyond.
  • Identity and faith — drifting through atheism into a quiet, hard-won belief that has never stopped being wrestled with.
  • Marriage and family — meeting Helen, the person who changed everything for me, and the four decades of love that followed.
  • Loss — the death of my brother Gareth to suicide, the passing of other close family members too, and the long journey of grief that followed.
  • Faith and doubt — and the discovery that you cannot have one without the other.

It is a book that does not flinch from the hard things. But it does not wallow in them either. The tone, I hope, is honest, sometimes funny, occasionally angry, and always rooted in the belief that one ordinary life is worth telling about — because every ordinary life is.

The Video — Filmed in My Home Town

The short film you have just watched (or are about to watch) was shot over a single afternoon in the streets, lanes, roads, and some quiet corners of the place I grew up. As a videographer and photographer by trade, I have spent my professional life capturing other people’s stories. Turning the camera on my own felt strange. Necessary, but strange.

I wanted the visuals to feel still. To have space. The book is not loud, and the introduction video should not be either. The bars of Holding Back Time sit underneath the images and carries the emotional weight that the words may struggle with.

About the Music

One of the surprises of writing the book was the songs that emerged alongside it. I had not set out to write music for the memoir. But certain chapters seemed to demand it. The three songs in the book are:

  • Wrestling for the Truth — for Gareth.
  • Will You Remember Me? — about legacy, the olive tree in our garden, and the question we all carry about remembrance and identity.
  • Holding Back Time — for Helen, my wife of forty years.

Some words of Holding Back Time are what you hear in the introduction video. Once the book is published, all three songs will be available on my YouTube channel, and the lyrics are printed in full in the book’s Conclusion. And yes, the lyrics are mine in full, and I can read music and I have composed a few classical pieces myself (without AI), but in this instance I turned to AI to help me to pad out my ideas, and the voices and instruments are (at present) AI. But they all serve the purpose of conveying my story.

The Publisher

I Had A Dad Too is being published by Pickwick Publications, an imprint of Wipf and Stock Publishers in Eugene, Oregon. They are a long-established publisher of thoughtful books on faith, theology, history, and biography, and I am grateful to them for taking on a memoir from a first-time author originating from a small village in Warwickshire. The book has two forewords, several endorsements from people whose opinions I value enormously, and an honest acknowledgements section that names the many people who have walked with me through the writing of it.

Who This Book Is For

This book is for anyone who has ever lost someone they love and wondered how on earth to keep going. It is for anyone who has been bullied, or who carries the weight of childhood hurt that they have never quite known how to put down. It is for anyone navigating their own neurodiversity, or loving someone who is. It is for anyone who has wrestled with faith — whether they hold it tightly today, hold it loosely, or have set it aside altogether. It is for anyone who needs to hear that the small, quiet, ordinary moments of a life add up to something that matters.

And it is, perhaps most of all, for anyone who has ever stood at a graveside and thought, I want to remember. I do not want this person to be forgotten.

What Happens Next

Over the coming weeks I will be sharing more on this blog and across social media:

  • The cover reveal.
  • The endorsements and forewords.
  • Behind-the-scenes posts about how the book came together.
  • The songs, with full audio.
  • Pre-order details as soon as they are confirmed.
  • A series of short readings from individual chapters.

If you would like to be the first to know when the book is available, the best way is to follow me on social media or check back here regularly. I will be posting updates as we move through final edits and into publication. I will also be revealing a website soon at https://arwynbailey.com

Thank You

Writing this book has been the hardest creative project I have ever undertaken. Harder than any film, any photo shoot, any client deadline. Harder and emotionally draining, certainly, than I expected. There were weeks when I doubted my ability with the pen (keyboard) and I wanted to abandon it. There were chapters that took weeks to find the right words for. There were moments when the only reason I kept going was because somebody — usually Helen, sometimes a friend, occasionally a stranger who had read an early draft — told me the story mattered.

So if you are watching the introduction video, or reading these words, thank you. Thank you for being part of the journey. Thank you for caring enough to click. The book exists because people like you cared enough to ask, “What’s it about?” and to listen to the answer.

I Had A Dad Too — coming soon from Pickwick Publications.

Watch this space.

Arwyn Pennington Bailey (aka The Time-Lord) is a videographer, photographer, writer, and creative based in Buckinghamshire, England. He is the founder of T L Media Limited and has spent his career capturing moments in time for clients across the UK and Europe. I Had A Dad Too is his first personal memoir.